fuck the fucking fucked up weather.

first it had to piss me off by raining during our match, hence the match getting called off halfway

then i was supposed to meet my friend then it started pouring again she cancelled it

now im stuck at home on a saturday night in a supposedly precious weekend listening to some chick whine abt her ex bf

fuck this shit

and yesterday was the first time i went out with a chick who was close to my height

after wearing heels she was 179cm. first time in my life i didnt have to look down at a girl and i could walk straight instead of slouching haah

okay so i have 14 days to come up with $5.5k otherwise my application would be deemed void and i get pushed back another year

fuck this shit seriously i dont understand why unappreciative, undeserving fucks get to do whatever the hell they want just because their parents shit money and i cant

i believe i have more talent and ability than 3/4 of the morons in the school who still dont know what to do with their lives but somehow got in cos they had the money

fuck this

shiok we beat the league leaders, the unbeaten team so far in the league and we BEAT them 3-2

thanks to 2 goals by me hahahaha

wah i cant believe that volley could actually squeeze in between the keeper and near post

slumdoggggggggggggggg

next monday i need to take leave to settle admin matters with school

saturday big match against league leaders and i dont want to play as a fucking defender again

i found the perfect stress reliever (other than jerking off)

buddha bar, close eyes

heavenly shit

11am i go to La Salle for my interview - interviewer who is the main lecturer there arrives 25 mins later

1125am interview starts and he seems pretty smiley and chatty

1135am interview ends after my portfolio cd which i burnt cant be read in his com but he saw some of my other stuff

325pm i get a call by the La Salle admin saying I have been accepted into level 1 of the film course.

fucking fast balls.

la salle interview tomorrow....good luck to me

how the hell does everyone know about it and who constitutes everyone? thats what i want to know.

oh well it makes no big difference would it? lol

today's a truly life changing day.

i FINALLY passed my driving test hahahah got 14 points and a lot of close shaved but bottomline is I PASSED!

fucking happy the whole day man seriously it just feels like a huge load lifted off my chest.

Secondly, I had a long, nice, meaningful conversation with my parents. Something I havent had in ages. And all that with Tera sitting on my lap it was so different from the usual days when we were all doing our own things. My dad was sharing his life story, his childhood and his experiences in the Army and why he cant trust indians. 

I also somehow managed to find the courage to tell him that Pam and I are no longer together. He laughed it off (?) but of course I had to tell him the whole story and that now shes with some old australian dude. Then my mum started her SPG talk hahaha

I think this year is gonna be a very reflective one for me. I am starting to appreciate the people around me more and I hope this will change me to be a better person.

:)

i cannot neglect this blog, it was a catharsis for me during the worst periods of my life.

I realised something just now. I was flirting more with other girls while i was with Pam compared to now where i cant even be bothered at all. Now i know whats the issue. Theres nothing wrong with me, the problem lied with the fact that i HATE being suffocated and with the knowledge that someone was trying to henpeck me. Of course she didnt succeed but it made me determined more than ever to find a release. If i was such a natural flirt, I would have been on a rampage after we broke up but now its been 3 months and I havent really bothered doing anything.

Maybe i was rash the other day but i'm not apologetic at all. It was something i HAD to say, its just that it got blown out of proportion when someone else decided to step in and rile me up even further.

Thats settled for now but now I need to know what my priorities are. Of course its the film, the band, the work, everything I'm working on now, I know i'm still not ready for a relationship but I have lost the will and desire to bother looking.

At Rianne's party i met up with M again, and i realised (some may dispute it as i seemed semi-drunken then) but at my current level of sobriety, I can safely say i always had a thing for her, just that my general dislike towards white people is putting me off the whole thing. Maybe its just the fact that i find her hot, superficial stuff i know but I know we can carry a decent conversation. She seemed impressed (dont know sincere or not) when I talked to her about my job and of course, Amnesia which i want her to play a part in. But then again, I find that she is in a different league altogether, not saying im not good enough for her or what but I dont think she would understand or ever accept me.

So its best to remain single, no need to worry about these kinda shit hahaha

I also should start appreciating my friends and people who have been there for me more....i have this bad habit of overlooking things and this is not healthy. I need to cut this ego bullshit and try to be nicer to everyone else and stop thinking i'm some big fuck

unless its really necessary.

WAH LIKE HOW LONG I NEVER UPDATE SIA FUCK I FORGOT I HAD A BLOG LOL

wah this month is a whirlwind month man a lot of things happen so fast i just hope i dont lose focus.

daryl's birthday was kickass party and i got wasted

prodigy was kickass best concert i ever been to i got wasted on adrenaline

then i made a fool out of myself by committing the biggest blunder ever

and then now i have huge projects to complete at work

wah stress balls