Officially the worst shoot I ever been to in my life. Everything was so badly organised, badly planned...no, there was almost no planning at all.

And then there was a director who didnt know what she wanted, she doesnt even know how a camera works and it was simply just her taking everyone for granted.

What irritated me though was the fact that that 3 day period was the ONLY time in my entire holidays where I could actually go for a holiday and my brother was already going to KL. I decided to sacrifice that for the shoot and in the end, now all I have is regret. And I can;t go next week cos of fucking SAF and I need to go defer for the fucking RT.

So now I go back to school in 10 days without a proper holiday and officially, the 4th year in a row I'm stuck in Singapore because I either have no time, no money or too many retards bogging me down.

FML.


Happy New Year BTW.

2010 was a pretty good year in all areas except finances and sports. I was mostly broke throughout the entire year til near the end when I had money to splurge on myself and for sports, well I only scored 1 goal this entire year for SSFC and I couldnt even clear my IPPT without something fucking up.

Oh well, here's to a better 2011.

Seriously WTF

I been waiting the whole week to see Ferry Corsten live at Zouk and I specifically made christmas night free so I could go and then the weather has to come and fuck everything up, just as always.

One by one people start bailing and in the end now I'm stuck at home on a Saturday night with fucking nothing to do.

I'm totally loving this time of the year....for the first time I don't have to think about work at all...save for the impending shoot and the best part is I finally can splurge on things without feeling too guilty.

So in the past 2 days, I've bought myself a new pair of shoes, a new t-shirt, a new wallet, a DVI to VGA adapter, blank DVDs,a new pair of earphones and a couple of xmas gifts and I'm just going to end it all by buying a new shirt and a couple more t-shirts

yup.

Is it true that as you get older, you sense of humour goes haywire too? Realise when old people tell a joke, none of us get it but people from their generation burst into laughter? How and why does this happen and how to curb it?

Its funny though, I get along well with people from any age group be it teens or old folks...no awkward moments. Right now I can still bluff people about my real age but I wonder how long more I can continue doing this

my back and right foot hurts like a bitch.

Work is finally over and I was surprised we got paid on the spot, in cash somemore...suddenly I'm not broke anymore and I have money for christmas! First thing I gotta do is buy new shoes as well as some new shirts and a wallet...I havent bought anything for myself in a year.

Yesterday's match was gruelling to say the least..it's sad that as a striker, I had to do plenty of dirty work like hassling their defenders and covering our non-existant midfield...and I dont know how but I pulled a muscle on my back and I got stomped really hard on my foot and now its swollen.

IPPT this thursday hope I ace it so I can finally enjoy a peaceful holiday season.

Christmas is coming and the invites are coming in, I'm feeling it a bit more than I did last year which is great and I'm really happy I can finally start buying things I have been dying to buy but couldnt cos of a lack of funds..

However, I need to master the art of saving up money so I dont end up in a zero situation again.

you're seriously not worth my time.

last saturday i swallowed a lot of pride to finally talk to you and try to put the past behind after all the shit you did and also decided to have you back on fb

and now you just decide to delete me off again just because your boyfriend is not happy?

hey you know what? Just go fuck yourself =)

fuck the workload just got increased...to cover up for other peoples incompetencies now I have to do sound design/efx for a 2 min long intense sequence by thursday wtf?!

I seriously hate working with untalented, unmotivated and incompetent people, seriously...they just drag me down into their puddle of shit which I have no interest in whatsoever.

my ex re-added me on facebook, and I don't know, its a good thing I guess, one less enemy to bother about. Its highly ironic that she admitted that she did screw things up for me, and shes only saying this because her current bf is doing to her, what she did to me. So much for karma lol.

Well that aside, I really don't know what to do now, I'm stuck with plenty of work, I have to deal with a fucking retarded bureaucratic system in school that cant make up its fucking mind.

I feel like writing songs, lyrics, whatever. I need to start preparing for the diploma film shoot. I need to get ready for 2011. I think 2010 has been a pretty good year for me, almost in every single aspect except finance.

I'm single but I dont wanna be single yet I feel very comfortable being single. I saw some article on MSN the other day that listed effects of singlehood addiction and every single point made sense to me...So I guess that's what the issue is. But how do I curb it? I want to give people a chance but I don't know how to break the barrier. I know there are girls out there who are waiting for me but urrgghhh I don't know what to do about it.

I could do the usual and just focus on work, selfish I know but it works. I'm just afraid that this might turn out to be a distraction.

What am I going to do?

i'm excited for my upcoming projects, i just wish I have money so i can buy stuff for myself, I totally forgot what retail therapy feels like with your own money ever since I stopped working.

I made a sacrifice, now i'm dealing with the consequences, I just hope its all worth it in the end. I am talented and I know it, now I have to prove myself first.

My right ear is still ringing and its 5pm and I just woke up and yesterday was certainly one of the most epic days ever. Let me just try to recall in chronological order.

I woke up in the morning and got ready to head down to Punggol Sec for the D2D game against coca cola sports club. A match where I was making my return to the league after a 5 month absence and I really wanted to end my 12 month goal drought.

Alas, it was not to be as we lost 3-1 but I did provide the assist for the goal we scored, a sidefooted chip from our own half that released 2 of our strikers clear 2 on 1 with the goalkeeper.

After the match, it was time to head home and prepare to meet the guys at Harbourfront for Zoukout.

And in 2008, I mentioned how cursed I was to bump into my ex, as in she was the very first person I bumped into the moment I entered Siloso. Well last night, it went one step further, I got out of harbourfront station, looking for ravin, I turned in from the escalator towards cheers and BAM, of all the people in the world, I had to bump into my ex AGAIN.

After a few seconds of stunned awkwardness, I decided to just say hi and ask her if she was waiting for ravin as well, well she was meeting her friend so I tried to have small talk while waiting for my friends to arrive. It was just.....weird I guess. And she told me she quit school in her 4th year. No comment.

So anyway, we polish a couple of jim beams before we head into the monorail thingy into Sentosa, crowded as fuck but we got there anyway and we managed to get tagged and we started to polish the 2 bottles we brought, Black and White label. I was already started to get high and at around 12+, we decided to go in.

Boy it was crowded as fuck, the music was good, i lost count how many people i elbowed and shoved in the face, trying to protect my female friends from getting squished.

Some white girl kept eyeing me throughout Tiesto's set and then later, she and her friends decided to move right in front of us and that girl just started coming closer and closer and eventually started grinding me.

So I find out her name is Marie and she's from Norway and okay you want to grind go ahead, she was quite cute and had a big ass and her grinding started to get more and more violent, almost like banging. It was starting to hurt my balls lol.

After that in the middle of Guetta's set her friends had to leave so she just touched my face and said goodbye. Not that I cared much but I was thirsty as fuck and for about 45 mins, Ravin and I hung out together cos everyone else was scattered all over the place.

So after everything was over, we reunited again at the main entrance at about 7+am and decided to head home.

And it was fucking hard finding a cab this morning.

And I missed RT I'm just gonna go on Thursday and see if I can apply for a make-up session.

I was at macs just now having my dinner when this fucking india family of 3, father, mother and abomination were sitting 2 tables away and throughout the whole fucking time, the little piece of shit just kept screaming. If that wasnt irritating enough, the parents were just oblivious to it throughout the whole time. I really wanted to go there and chokeslam the stupid fuck on the table in front of the parents and right when i tweeted about it, they finally developed a brain and left.

fucking chao india fucks come here act like they above the law can do whatever they want and get away with it fuckers.

Just when you thought there were enough Singaporeans with shitty etiquette and behaviour, the govt has to import these 3rd world shits into this country to continue this shit.

Thats why I always say, Singapore is a 1st world wannabe country with 3rd world people. You cant deny that statement.

at this time, 2 years ago, I remember finishing my RT session at Khatib camp and then heading down to the national stadium alone to watch the ASEAN cup semi finals between Singapore and Vietnam in which Singapore lost 1-0.

Now fast forward 2 years later, I come back home to see Singapore lose to Vietnam 1-0 again.

For a team full of foreigners and 6ft tall players who play professionally, they cant even string at least 3 passes together to beat the Vietnamese who had only 10 men.

Now i remember why i gave up on Singapore. Holland doesnt disappoint me that much.

I'm bored so i decided to start a twitter trending topic #indemocraticsingapore..

i adjusted some parts from the original score and it sounds a bit more dynamic...i still need to figure out how the EQ works...totally hate being so clueless but i gotta learn as much as i can and not try to depend, independence is key to surviving.

4 more days to zoukout!!! sooo exciting man, looking forward to it.

am i really asexual?

Wow I just found an old friend, in fact my very first best friend (circa 1989) from kindergarten days on Facebook. Now what's interesting is the very first time we met, we ended up fighting and I pushed him down the stairs and he ended up with a gash on his chin, and the scar is still there even up to now..

Whats amazing is this guy was born on the same day as me, in the same hospital, same ward, just a few hours apart. He was from a pretty poor family and lived with his mum and I remember his mum, she was a really nice lady who even though she was poor, would still take the effort to buy sweets for me for no reason at all.

He used to be very good with computers back then and we kind of lost contact after secondary school and now I just found out hes got a job in the IT industry and he just got married. Supremely proud of him, for being able to make it that far and I'm really glad to have found him back and his mum still remembers me.

I need to pay them a visit soon, these kinda people are worth treasuring.

first time I'm blogging at work

I'm fucking lucky my lecturer think my work is good, save for a few adjustments that could be made to further improve on it.

Monday blues, I totally forgot to get my morning coffee and I was just feeling sleepy the whole day.

I have a lot of work to do tomorrow arrgghhh

I have to wake up in 6 hours time for work but I'm not sleepy yet.

I spent the past couple of hours youtubing away, havent done that in a while...miss the good music from the 90s and of course replaying stuff by Crotchduster, absolutely LOVE the band, they seriously deserve a grammy.

6 more days to ZoukOut can't fucking wait!

my hamstring feels weird, like sore-weird.

And I don't know if I accidentally applied invisibility cream or something but just now when I was in the bus 27 standing as usual I don't understand why everyone was standing so close to me, especially this makchik tudung who was standing right in front of me oh my fucking god there was no space at all for that 20 mins, was she hoping I would grind her or something?

fucking morons.

and i just remembered, on fri night at zouk, some white dude grabbed my butt....continuing my tradition of unintentionally turning guys on. fml.

I spent my saturday night at home! Felt damn weird though I did go down a bit with my brother and then later with A. So it wasnt that bad.

RT today and I'm already up cos of the music from the malay wedding downstairs.

I don't know why these people have to park their cars all over the place when theres a multi-storey carpark nearby. fucking stupid.

http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Asia/Story/STIStory_610450.html

very nice, so more ching chong ah tiongs to come here and contribute to the pollution levels?

Hahaha crap what the hell happened last night

I was quite disappointed that Dirty South's set only lasted 2 hours, and it was pretty much done by 330am. And i had plenty to drink because my friend did not want to finish his drink since he was riding, I had to finish for him. It was weird seeing so many drunk people even before it was 12am and by 3am, the whole place was a mess.

Did bump into a few familiar people though. Now I'm up feeling stoned as fuck and I'm broke goddamnit.

Dirty South tonight at Zouk!!

Last time I saw him was at ZoukOut 2008 and I was impressed. Really hope I have a great night tonight, been a lonnnggg time since I last went to Zouk.

ok here's why i havent logged in in a while

i forgot my password lol

well im back anyway

so the diploma pitch results were out a couple of days back and sadly, my story wasnt selected, however, i was selected to direct someone else's story...so be it. Better than nothing.

I dont have a love life but I'm happy this way

I am currently working on a project as part of my industrial attachment...working with my lecturer and im solely in charge of scoring and composing music for an upcoming animated film (that is a blatant ripoff of godzilla, cloverfield, transformers and ultraman) but the guy making it was involved in films like LOTR, King Kong and Avatar.

I won't bother much about the animation but what irks me is I feel like I'm doing a great job with the music, trying to salvage the film by making it more original but he prefers some old school 70s ultraman trumpety shit. Ha what a prick. And i absolutely hate it when he keeps insisting to speak to my lecturer when Im the one composing music. Then hire me for fuck?

Anyway ZoukOut is coming, I'm in the midst of RT (good to finally start conditioning my body again) and of course, year end festivities which is usually full of alcohol.

Oh and I just recovered from chicken pox...at the tender age of 26.

I am now going to revisit past entries to see how I was at this time in previous years.

I am very proud of the fact that I managed to maintain this blog for quite some time already, never been able to keep a blog so long (and so secret) before. I'll try to update more soon.

oh god i switched over to a mac and i totally forgot i got a blog i feel bad now.

so in the past month i have gone back to be swamped by schoolwork, have a couple of exciting new projects ahead

really hope my diploma film pitch gets selected.

oh and i injured the god damned ankle again

I AM MUCH MORE KICKASS THAN YOU CAN EVER DREAM TO BE!

too many things happening at the same time.

my beloved Holland is thru to the final for the first time in 32 years.

But then as usual, shit has to happen and cut my happiness short

first I find out my dad (stubborn as fuck) has a digestive system problem which lasted for more than a week. It was bad enough I had to demand he go see a doctor...so we agreed to go for a test next monday if he doesnt recover by then.

then just when I thought there was just one headache, my mum comes in with another shocker of her own after her annual medical check up

for some weird random reason, her ECG tests came out and apparently she has a weak heart.

fuck my life seriously.

world cup fever thats why never update for so long

i think thats all thats happening anyway, its a very football oriented month for me both as a player and spectator

sometimes its better to know the truth than to be kept waiting, trying to figure out whats going on.

One of my biggest flaws is probably me and my expectations. As much as I hate it and I keep telling people not to expect, I inadvertently end up doing the same thing; such a hypocrite I am. Sometimes I wonder if my mental age and maturity befits my actual physical age. I may be 26 although I may not look like it and I have to start realising that I am no longer a teenager. It's a sad fact that I have to learn to accept and sometimes it feels like time is passing by way too fast for me to catch up.

I have been guilty of making the same mistakes over and over again and even though I am supposed to be learning from these mistakes, I tend to be too stubborn and end up doing otherwise. I'm stuck in a situation where now I am forced to grow up and accept reality but I choose to live in my own world with my stupid little expectations. My overambitious and fussy nature doesnt sit too well with people and I am not doing anything about it. Sometimes I wonder what the hell am I doing with my life. Everyone tells me I have plenty of talent and potential but I feel like I'm not doing anything to realise that potential. Instead all I do is expect and then wallow in self-pity when it fails.

I am almost losing this battle trying to keep myself mentally stable and I am really lost now. My life still feels like something is missing and instead of confronting it, I choose to ignore it and choose distractions instead. My lifestyle of heavy partying, alcohol and weed isnt going to sustain me for long and I might just face the possibility of my life turning into an inevitable failure.

I am depressed and I don't even know what the fuck I'm depressed about. I can't find the right words to use to describe how I feel and it seems like nobody is going to bother. I am everybody's aunt aggie but nobody wishes to return the favour. Or maybe it's just me expecting something in return. Maybe I am wallowing in self-pity and it annoys the hell out of everyone.

I have managed to build a reputation based on my hard work and quality yet I still feel like a total loser. My self esteem constantly takes a beating because I doubt my own abilities. I could have used this holiday period to find work but I don't know why I can't find the confidence to. I had the confidence last year and I did a great job, even landing the production I was in an award but I can't seem to do the same this time around. I feel like I'm losing it and I feel like I'm victimizing myself. i find it hard to talk to people these days and I choose to keep my problems to myself. I know this is unhealthy but it seems like the only viable option.

I feel like everyone, including my family and friends put up a front when I'm around. There is a huge communication breakdown at home, save for my brother and I don't know how to fix it. My friends are there for me but I can't expect them to be all the time. I make the mistake of neglecting them when they need me but sometimes I don't see the full effects of it. I dont want to turn into an alcoholic but I'm already showing signs of turning into one. At least my return to soccer has been fruitful though I'm horribly rusty and I almost died yesterday from the heatstroke.

Nobody reads this but me thats why I can just pour it all out and tell myself that I am just a fragile, vulnerable weakling who puts up a shell to make myself look like some tough guy. Of course I know for a fact that all I'm doing is to lie to myself and the ones around me but I'm really at a loss now. How do I go about living a lie forever and how do I fix this problem of trying to figure out what exactly is missing in my life?

I'm sorry for hurting the people around me and the people who cared. I'm sorry for being selfish and too full of myself and I'm sorry for not being the person people wished I could be. I have only myself to blame.

I must really stop this habit of drinking/clubbing late into the night on the eve of a soccer match or in this case, tournament.

This weekend was my first taste of competitive football after a 6 month hiatus and boy my fitness took a beating and mostly because of the abovementioned situation. On friday night I was at blu jazz and last night at Zirca. Both nights I went to bed around 5+ and had to wake up at 9. Then play the tournament, 3 matches on first day and 2 on the second. Actually my form wasnt that bad but holy shit the weather was killer. I'm frankly quite surprised i didnt pass out from exhaustion.

I should quietly just sit down and countdown to a moment of epic disappointment. Expectations will be the death of me.

it's the 3rd week into the holidays. I'm re-adjusting myself to actually not do work and its quite hard since I'm too used to working. Been partying a lot, getting drunk on shitloads of whatever and spending plenty of money while at it.

I can sense a growing rift at home, especially more so between my dad and my brother. As much as I hate what's going on, I can't entirely fault my brother but then I also cannot take sides so it's getting kind of irritating, thats the reason why I'm staying out as much as I can.

I'm finally back with SSFC, my match fitness is shit but at least I scored 2 in last week's friendly so I'm slowly getting my touches back. I cant wait for the world cup to begin, once every 4 years and I really hope Holland won't disappoint me again. Coming to think of it, it was the last world cup where I met my ex gf Pam. Now right before this coming world cup, I just recently heard she got engaged. I know I need to move on but for some reason, this doesn't interest me anymore.

I need to stop procrastinating and send 2309 for festivals. Whats the point of working hard and then not doing anything once the work is done, not fair for the rest also.

Am I being too choosy or am I just like this naturally?

my fucking computer died and half my portfolio is gone

school is over and i'm feeling sick now

crap.

2309 is done!!!

now time to settle the press kit/dvd designs, etc

Here's a trailer

and yes it looks and feels like a horror film but it isn't entirely one.

I'm still procrastinating fucking hell.

I just got a new phone, a Nokia E72...looks like a Blackberry but it's not. But not bad i think I got a pretty good deal...12GB data a month, free unlimited sms/mms, 400 outgoing calls free...all for 58/mth.

I know it's still early but I'm still stuck between 2 ideas for my diploma film pitch. One is the story of 2 pre-teen boys who are best friends who get seperated but eventually end up getting married to each other after one of them gets a sex-change op many years later, of course not to the knowledge of the other boy.

The other story is about a kid and his friends, how he often hangs out with them and everytime he does, people look at him funny. One day one of his friends somehow lead him to jump into a pool and doesn't help when he ends up drowning. Then we do a reverse and we realise that his friends are actually all imaginary and the reason why he has imaginary friends is because hes abused at home and doesnt get freedom to socialise and thus, creates his own friends.

Still stuck

the NTU film finally got launched and I was glad that the sound came out good, too good in fact. I got praised a lot hahaha and they want to work with me again in the future.

Had a long late night chat with my lecturer and told her about my problems and all the dynamics within the school.

Still feels like something is missing

I'm writing this because I'm waiting for a video to upload and I'm not even sure if it will work.

I'm writing this because I strongly believe that I am an underrated genius.

I'm writing this because I am about to enter the most crucial stage of my semester and I have just completed my 3rd short film in a space of 4 months.

I'm writing this because I am wonderful music coming out of my sennheisers.

I'm writing this because I am loveless and indifferent.

I'm writing this because I am weak and vulnerable.

I'm writing this because I feel used.

I'm writing this because I felt like I finally achieved some recognition for my abilities today.

I'm writing this because I want to be heard.

I'm writing this because it constantly looks as if it's about to rain.

I'm writing this because I only start school at 1pm tomorrow.

I'm writing this because I feel like I have 49 different thoughts running in my head at the same time.

I'm writing this because I think God enjoys playing pranks on me.

I'm writing this because I am starting to get that familiar feeling I had when I used to be depressed back when I was in NS.

I'm writing this because I love what I'm doing.

I'm writing this because I wish that someday, the World will recognise my talents and abilities.

I'm writing this because I feel that I was born in the wrong place.

I'm writing this because I just drank a soft drink so late at night.

I'm writing this because I finally know what a varicam feels like.

I'm writing this because I don't love myself enough.

I'm writing this because I appreciate the people around me.

I'm writing this because I want to see my enemies crash and burn.

I'm writing this because I want to be a nicer person this year.

I'm writing this because I am Siv.

FUXKING PANIC ATTACKS

the shoots are done!!! Now time to keep track of all the films I've worked on so far this year alone

The Banyan Tree - Dir. Sivaraj Pragasm (Writer/Director/Editor)
Ring on a Finger - Dir. Susanna Soon (Director of Photography)
The Other Cho (T.O.C) - Dir. Cho Yeijin (Camera Operator)
My Name is Samad - Dir. Ruzaimah Abuamin (Director of Photography)
The Road Home - Dir. Daryl Nah (Director of Photography)
Jonny Syntax - Dir. Sivaraj Pragasm (Writer/Director/Editor)
Dragon Well - Dir. David Ee (Gaffer)
Red Shoes - Dir. Mads K. Baekkevold (Audio Post/Sound Design)
2309 - Dir. Sivaraj Pragasm (Writer/Director)
Mr. Mime - Dir. Joycelyn Lee (Art Director)

10 films in a period of 4 months!!

3 as writer director, 3 as DoP, the rest as audio post, gaffer or cam op and even one as art director, the one that concluded recently. No wonder I have no life.

Having said that, I can't wait to see the final product of 2309; my biggest film to date starring real professional actors and of course, time to start preparations for my next film, Keagan's Story. An adaptation of a short story I wrote last year. That one's gonna be killer.

The shoot went fucking smoothly and we didnt burst our budget or the scheduled timing. Morale was high throughout and all the cast and crew did great. It was really awesome to get comments from professional actors telling us how good we are.

Cant wait to see the final product.

Now on to Art Director mode for Joy's shoot.

yesterday i ended up going to a club with 6 lesbians (me being the only guy) and one of them asked me if i was gay. FML.

And its 2309's turn to shoot. Time to show the elitist white folks how it should be done.

And fuck unreliable people seriously.

and and and i cannot allow myself to be distracted. It's the same mistake I keep making over and over again.

I realised there is something very creepy going on in my block that until now, I cant explain.

I usually go out at night for smoke breaks and since I live on the 4th floor, I would go up the stairs towards the lift lobby/rubbish chute area on the 5th floor as I have a clear view of the road and whatever little scenery there is to smoke.

The thing is, I don't plan my timing. I go at random times sometimes as early as 11pm sometimes at 3am. Now the weird part is, when I'm smoking, suddenly I will hear a crash and I see a waterbomb dropping down, just a few metres away. The thing is, when I look down, i realise its the ONLY waterbomb there. Now first of all, who in their right minds would open their room windows at throw down waterbombs at such ungodly hours. Secondly, how come it coincides with the time I'm actually smoking. Thirdly, this has happened at least 7 times already. And all 7 times while I'm smoking. Last night I was there at 2am and it happened. It's almost like as if someone knows I'm there and decided to throw it but who and why?

It still puzzles me to this day.

I'm so happy!!!

finally I managed to secure the first lead character for 2309 and I managed to get a professional actor.

Timothy Nga!

he appeared on local dramas like fighting spiders and lifeline and hosted countless of TV programmes and hes willing to do my film hahaha.

I am finally going to start working with real professional actors its so exciting.

And so far it seems like my group is the only one with a professional actor in it, damn cool!

i have decided that I should stop playing Mr nice guy and help others with their work and then I get lousier grades than them.

Now you go prove yourselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLkXtHvElQw

Jonny Syntax is almost done! now left with touching up and sound design.

its been a fucking hectic last month as I was working on this as well as 2309 which will be shot at the end of this month. Right now I'm trying to settle the drafts with the lecturer.

Yesterday I went to Zouk for the first time this year, or rather, the first Saturday this year where I actually had free time and just coincidentally, Cosmic Gate was spinning. They came a few times and I always missed them.

Other than the fact that I finished up 2 jugs of whisky dry all by myself and was pretty high and I almost got into 2 different squabbles over stupid issues, the music was relatively good.

And my record for hitting the gaydar everytime I go to zouk still continues. This time its some long haired melayu dude who kept checking me out....wtf...

I seriously think God is fucking with me.

i'm still short of some major posts and some stupid unreliable bitch pulled out cos she was just too stupid.

now i have one day left to try and find a solution

very nice

my pitch for 2309 got selected!!

now im faced with the prospect of writing and directing 2 films within a span of 4 weeks.

the nightmare officially begins now!

wah this weekend not bad, 2 parties in a row and a lot of alcohol while at it.

I ended up talking to my lecturer at Mads' party and he finally gave me feedback on the Jonny Syntax script i sent him last week.

He really liked what I was doing but he told me i run the risk of it either being really good or epic failure. Its a huge risk and a very challenging thing to do.

I think i'm up for it.

the work is piling up and the stress levels are getting higher each day

i got abt 11 films to work on this semester...crap i'm gonna be screwed.

People should stop coming to me for relationship advice, my cynicism isnt going to help them in any ways.

But i'm not a pessimist, i'm a realist.

reality is a bitch sometimes.

I dont know if its a rare talent or what, but i have this ability to put myself in the shoes of a character when i write something.

thats the reason why i had to lock myself up in a room in school for an hour as I wrote the first draft of Jonny Syntax. Because in that one hour, I was suddenly a troubled guy with a misguided childhood, plenty of sexual desires and an insatiable amount of anger. I was almost worried I would turn into a destructive force.

Or maybe i'm just mad.

WHY
THE
FUCK
AM
I
SUCH
A
LOSER?

holy shit 3 times in 4 days is no joke. And she almost looked clearly interested just now WHY WHY WHY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRGGHHHHHHH

I hate the fact that my balls always leave me stranded at the most crucial moments.

I guess the novelty has started to wear off...

anyway now that banyan tree is done, its time to work on jonny syntax; a stylized industrial-cyberpunk biography of a rockstar wannabe.

After a gruelling 1 and a half day shoot and a gruelling week editing, despite being sick throughout the whole time, I'm almost finally done!!

Now all I'm left with is to add the finishing touches, iron out any kinks, do the colour correction and of course sound design. Then the credits roll and I can render it. I will probably cut a trailer too since its also a requirement for SIFF.

What a way to end the holidays. Oh and its a monster, 24 minutes long haha thats the same length as a standard Mediacorp drama.

Its done!!

The shoot went smoothly mainly because of the good work by the cast and crew and we managed to finish ahead of schedule both days and we did not burst our budget. The weather too was perfect. The second day was worrying because it was cloudy throughout the shoot but it was only after I declared its a wrap then it started to rain..like as if the clouds were waiting for us to finish..

Now time for post-production hell. Apparently Sony cameras require a PSB cable to allow a firewire connection to the computer so now that I've returned the camera, I will need to borrow a handycam to do the digitizing. Got 4 tapes altogether.

Really proud of the cast and crew for doing such a great job and extremely thankful to those who helped in one way or another. Lets see how this goes.

ushered in the new decade at siloso beach after we got a bunch of free tickets for the party. Got pretty high on alcohol and music and had fun overall. What amazed me was the timing. We were at harbourfront at 11 and we saw an epic queue for the monorail that stretched all the way down to harbourfront center so we decided to take a cab instead. Got in time and we had 30 mins to finish one 1.5l bottle of jim beam. Then we queued to get tagged and go in and we managed to reach just in time for the countdown. Foam party was fun and hilarious lol.

Tomorrow is finally the start of the shoot...just pray and hope everything goes smoothly, as it is 3 people pulled out and some changes have been made but we'll see

oh and before i go i should rant..

I FUCKING HATE UNRELIABLE PEOPLE!.

Happy New Decade.