Some rather interesting developments.

I was surprised and caught off guard when the school suddenly decided to change the shortlist and allow me to shoot a story that wasnt originally selected because "none of the stories fit your style or is able to showcase your ability".

So the story I got was a pretty ethereal one which I worked on over the past few days to craft out a plot and some characterization. So basically it's about a struggling photographer (struggling because he cant find work) who starts getting obsessed over a girl who appears in the background of one of his pictures.

Its a rather melancholic piece which I feel will be an interesting challenge for me. And so far I'm glad that the people that I approached to work for me all said yes, this is a stark contrast to what happened last year where nobody wanted to join m because fuckface was the producer. I'm slightly more confident this year.

Yesterday I found out that of the 10 films that were submitted by the school to the SIFF, 9 got selected, the only one that did not even get into the out-of-competition screening and was snubbed altogether was mine. So when I looked through the programme schedule, I saw a list of films, some good, some looked so-so, and then my film was nowhere there.

Its not even my film. I was just forced to direct it, and NOTHING. Such a waste of my level 2, such a huge slap to my face, what a year of failed objectives.

I havent been able to update in a while due to my busy schedule. Juggling school work with a 35mm shoot with pre-production plans for my new short-film to be shot this December. Really a lot of work to do.

I am currently in the midst of a black and white silent film shoot with a Singapore based Spanish director and I'm 1st Assistant Director. Although its good to be an AD as you have a lot of power and responsibility on set, I also just hate the idea of doing all the paperwork and shit.

I'm still pretty sour with the fact that so many people I know, including classmates are going to have their works showcased outside, and especially on SIFF. What do I have? Nothing! Its fucking annoying, yes I can be happy for them but sorry, I'm not a carebear or a spectator. I get into this to get things done, to achieve things. I don't want to just sit down and cheer other people on, thats not my purpose in life. I hate the fact that everyone got their chance except me, and the worst part is I don't even know who to blame. First of all I was forced into the situation and then I wasnt allowed to make the most out of it, so what am I supposed to do?

So Fuck SIFF, Fuck PSOF. I'm going to give it one more shot, nothing to do with school anymore, I dont give a fuck about my thesis film honestly, what I'm really giving a fuck about is my new upcoming short-film, Purgatory. I am going to vest so much hope in this film its basically do or die. This film will basically gauge how much of a film maker I am, or at least how deserving I am. Because I know I can make good films if I'm given a chance. And now I really hope nothing fucks up this chance.

It was a pretty crazy week, crazy start to August.

It started out quite bad on Monday, on my first day of school when I ended up spending more time holed up in toilet cubicles than in class, a total of 15 times til there was blood coming out, I panicked, saw a doctor and ended up getting diagnosed with gastroenteritis. Got the tuesday off and started feeling better after Wednesday.

From my last post it was still in my mind, how I was going to try to settle the payment for my school fees, 21k was a huge sum of money and I was about to take a bank loan with Maybank when I suddenly received an email from the school admin that told me that I was going to be awarded the LASALLE Future Leader Scholarship. I went to school the next day and collected the official scholarship letter (after dropping off my MC in the same room) and they awarded about 14k to me. Which means on top of the sponsorship deal I was to get from my Godmother, I would only need to pay 2.1k for the entire year, just 10% of the overall fees, how fucking awesome is that?

But of course all these come with great responsibilities, now that I'm technically a scholar, I need to adhere to some rules and regulations, I need to have a squeaky clean disciplinary record and I need to get consistently high grades. Level 3 is going to be a tough cookie, within the first week I already have 2 assignments due. But I guess this is just a start for things to come. The scholarship has already taken off a huge weight off my shoulders, I cannot afford to fuck this up.

And yesterday was my birthday and I have to say it was really one of a kind, a unique party. Not so much a party per se but it was really fun and chilled out and I'm glad the people who attended it enjoyed it. Now that things are starting to get on track, its time to reconfigure myself to get out of holiday mode and start working hard again, this is my final stretch and my objectives for the year are, to get 1st class honours, and to have my works exhibited at either Berlin or Cannes. It's possible.