its a strangely quiet day

office feels empty, work is done i just dont have the mood to do anything. have a match later but i dont know how 4 weeks of non-action is going to affect my fitness, probably might not last the entire match...provided the match is on in the first place because the weather is so bloody hard to predict these days.

yesterday started out fine and turned out into such a disaster. something i never thought i'll ever do, and i ended up doing it. she starts getting all apologetic and stuff which is funny cos when i fuck up and apologise all she says is apologies dont mean shit.

whatever it is, i come in in the morning and i check my email and i see jewel of all people thanking me for god knows what and this woman starts her usual nonsense by assuming im having some extra-marital affair with her.

fuck this im glad and sad this relationship is over. it is by far the best and the worst relationship i ever had. best for the good reasons and worst for the well...worst reasons. nobody fucking hits me, that too in a public place. i would have pummelled the fucker to death if it was a guy and somehow even after so much self control i still ended up hitting her a few times which is fucked up anyway

im sure people saw what happened and i dont know how the fuck im gonna go there and watch the fucking concert without getting stared at

otherside orchestra is a fucking solid band, the kind of stuff ialways wanted to play would have been cool to watch the whole set had the stupid bitch not come and ruined it for me.

nobody fucking hits me

this is also probably the first post that i typed out without using capitals haha.