i guess this is it. i have finally reached the lowest point in my life.

i have no job, no financial security, i have no family support. im the black sheep of the family now simply because i can never ahdere to their wants.

i have no money, i cant do whatever i want.

i have a company that doesnt seem to be going anywhere

i am 24 and i have not achieved a single thing in life

lovelife....lets not get there.

i think its time to call it quits. i just cut off the fingernail and deleted her pictures. i think tomorow im going down to the barber to shave my head.....i need to do something drastic. i was toying with the idea of slashing myself but i cant go to a job interview with bloodied hands. yeah im just 7 hours away from it and i cant even sleep. i dont feel sleepy at all. i went down, bought a pack using my savings and smoked 8 in a row. strangely enough although my throat in burning, i do feel a little bit better now...better in the sense that i now actually have the energy to come online.

siv..its over....its all over its time to start afresh its time to wake up its time to throw away the past and embrace the present. this is the reality of life. i have conned myself all this while. my own short sightnedness. now im paying the price of it.

i need alcohol...i really need something....weed would be awesome


seriously.....i need to do something


goodbye.