okay so i just found out that she is dating some ang moh australian guy who could be almost twice her age. i really dont know whats her affinity with old men, or rather, old ang moh men. But i guess that explains why the other day she got so defensive when i was talking about SPGs and why they are scums.

that aside, i also find out that he is into BDSM as well, so i guess i can just imagine all that sodom and gemorrah hard hitting sex taking place soon. belly and all included.

what i dont understand is, why the hell is she always the one with the upper hand. technically speaking, she has gone 4 up while i'm still stuck with nothing.
whatever....im sick of feeling like a loser day in day out, people my age are achieving things and all i do is whine and achieve nothing. Fuck this

i think i really am going to do it after all. 3 days of no contact at all with the outside world. I need time to rediscover myself and my priorities in life. Even if it means shaving my head bald and cutting off that damn fingernail. I have to do it, sooner or later.

fuck